Why I Stayed and How I’m Going to Leave
This piece was presented to commemorate my 5th anniversary at eFishery, a startup that I’ve been dwelling on for the last 5 years of ups and downs.
From my perspective, eFishery has not been rocketing here and there like most startups. It’s more like a gentle sail full of excitement. In a lagoon full of crocs and anacondas with some checkpoints along the way.
We are excited. Our prized ‘One Fish’ treasure is out there on the vast ocean and we’re sailing ahead to get closer to our dream. This ‘One Fish’ treasure of us can be described in simple analogies such as “KFC will sell dory”, “aquaculture will be the number one protein providers in the world”, “our farmers will increase their yield sustainably”, and “every farmer will be a cool tech-enabled farmer.”
Most of the time we’re fighting against ourselves. Speeding up versus prioritizing resources. The boat (read: organization) design. Or, how to grow the impact enthusiast missionaries we picked up along the way to keep up with the challenge of steering the boat (things that we failed by much).
Some other time, we’re fighting against the breezy wind and the beautiful scenery along the way. It’s been luring us into our comfort zone and made us forget that the anacondas were swimming around waiting for the opportunity to sink us.
The lagoon wasn’t big, you can’t bring a big ship there, it’s overkill. With reeds, plants, and trees here and there you can’t really speed up, it’s dangerous. You need to be patient, carefully, passionately. We picked only the necessary crew, invest only in the necessary part of the boat. Only enough to defeat the lagoon while wondering about what the ocean looks like.
And that was my biggest mistake. 5 years, never been a wonder boy, working and learning twice than most, aiming to beat the lagoon while I supposed to face the ocean.
Why I Stayed
Of course, I didn’t stay because of the scenery or the anacondas. There are reasons a person leaves a company. And eFishery have their own unique trait to almost eliminate those reasons for me.
A lot of companies lack purposes and values. eFishery is the opposite. Led by the CEO, the value was transferred top-down in each of the company-wide events. His personality also reflecting the selflessness of our purpose and show us that what we do is far from simple self-gratification of fame and praises. I’ve met a lot of founders and few are as convincing as eFishery’s CEO.
And all those crazy work hours, unbalanced life. eFishery has flexible working hours. Outcome-based goals with growingly better project management. The remote culture. The hospitable Bandung. It’s one of the best offered in the country.
Decorated with toxic culture. Will always exist in every company. But deterred by a lot of selfless missionaries who don’t care about drama and only focused on giving impact for the farmers.
Which amplified by bad leadership. Leaders at eFishery always went through the cycle of correction with multiple disciplinary methods. The leaders’ feedback survey. Frequent one on ones. So on so forth. Problems still persist, but at least the open communication between the CEO and the middle managers and the staff helped to reduce the damage.
Then, losing sense of progress and achievements. Somehow we managed to overcome the hurdles along the way. The expanding operational areas. Farmer's success stories. And milestone to milestone reached with blood and sweat. The good story isn’t always around, but the ‘One Fish’ is always in our heart guiding our way.
To be at eFishery is to find a lot of seemingly insurmountable challenges which getting tougher year by year. I’ve never mastered enough, will always crave for more more and more things to learn, to utilize. Sometimes it’s tiring and gruesome. But I want to see the end. That’s why I stayed.
How I am Going to Leave
I’m going to leave when I found my own ‘One Fish’ (or as my friend said, “the ticket way out”). A company may last hundreds of years, but people don’t. We need to pick our lesser treasure along the way and call it a day.
A vision of an impact for society may span a really broad spectrum. Rural vs urban. Education or economy. Elder or young. Man or woman. Politics or business. Choosing one is hard. For the last five years, I chose eFishery.
That vision, the ‘One Fish’, can’t be reached in just a few years. Maybe ten or twenty to see a noticeable dent. Waiting for that long will need beyond simple perseverance and patience. It also needs boldness. Will you submit your professional (or even whole) life to a certain cause for years? It’s a huge wager.
Wagering this big you must be able to settle for lesser prizes and know when to stop. To cut loose. I set and aimed at one back in 2017. The story was, I led a team of 5 persons. It’s a messy leadership back then with a lot of dramas and people were leaving one by one. Back then, deep inside I knew I shouldn’t just work for the work. I need to make people thrive, I promise. It’s my lesser ‘One Fish’.
In the last 2 years, I’d gladly say that I’ve managed to discover my treasure. It’s not that monumental, it’s only a small ticket, but it’s a ticket anyway. Although not entirely satisfied, I feel content, and I’m thankful.
But the boat has found another checkpoint. This time, it’s the big port city before the ocean. A huge upgrade will be made for the boat. And a lot of new scary-looking sailors and officers are coming aboard. It is now their turn to take the ship much further.
It’s a huge intersection. Bet more or settle for less? Will I find more things I can treasure? Can I overcome the storms, thunder, and tsunamis? There are always things that bigger than us because our dream is a thing that can never be achieved by one man alone. We’re not a prophet. That’s why in many comics, a time skip is always necessary to prepare for the bigger thing ahead of the protagonists.
Either way, I am content. If it’s time to leave the ship, I’m ready.
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I am Open To Work. Let’s talk about managing product organization, developing people, lean development of your business, and venturing into the product-market fit zone. I might be able to help. Message me at: nashara dot ivan at gmail dot com
